Funny parenting meanderings

No matter how calmly you try to referee, parenting will eventually produce bizarre behavior, and I'm not talking about the kids.~ Bill Cosby

My rules for parenting [that keep me laughing]:

* I can sleep when I'm dead. Forget that sleep when the kids are sleeping. Because that's when I get
   STUFF done!
* Hiding in the closet because you don't want to share your food- totally acceptable. In fact,
   sometimes that is the only way I can eat the food that I made for myself at times.
* It doesn't matter if I made the kids the EXACTLY the same thing I am eating, they will
   want a bite of mine. (The food on my plate magically tastes better).
* Slobber and snot are bold fashion statements.

*If you want to distract you child for hours, just let them play in empty boxes. It's superior
  to any toy you may own.
* An acceptable social distance between your child and any other human being is 2 inches.
   Just so you know.
*  Cleaning your house while your kids are still growing up is like shoveling the
    walk before it stops snowing.
* Sing out loud in the public even, especially if it embarrasses your children.