News without any meaning

So we participate in a [medical] study called CORA. Part of that study was genetic screening. Bridgette's came back completely normal. We just got Leilani's back. The results were that she has an extra gene. [Location: 9p24.3]. Which right now means nothing to us. Because the doctor's aren't even quite sure what it means yet other than there's a correlation between that extra genome and being under the ASD. So right now we're doing nothing with it. We're just doing what we've been doing.

App time!

  I have two lists. One is from my kids therapists. The other is apps I've tripped on that I really like (for OT, speech, or just simply learning). I hope this helps others out there! Note that some of these are on the I-pad and mine are all Android based because right now my kids use my Kindle.

The list from my therapists:
Speech/ Language Apps
Language Builder by Mobile Education Tools (for I-pad)
Any flashcards or games by Kindergarten.com (for I-pad)- note this is just one link to one
    kind of flashcards. There's also cards for: sight words, food, problem solving, science,
    emotions, actions, animals, and receptive language development.
Toca Tea Party (for I-pad)
Pocket Phonics (for I-pad)
Dora Rhyming (for Android or I-pad)
Clean up by Different Roads to Learning (for I-pad)
Artik Pix (for I-Pad) or Pocket Artic (for Android) or Articulation Station (for I-pad)
iCommunicate- this has visual schedules, storyboards, communication boards, routines
    flashcards, choice boards, speech cards & more (spotlight app for AutismSpeaks)
Dress Up Free (for I-pad)
Speech with Milo (there's one for android, but more on I-pad)
Peekaboo Barn (for Android & I-pad)
Small Talk Phonemes (for I-pad)- everyday situation phrases, aid in dysgragia, oral
   motor exercies, daily activity phrases, medical care phrases (including pain),
   blends, days/ week/ month, numbers.
VAST (for I-pad)- used a lot w/ kids with autism. There's more than one app for this one.
Toddler Quiz (for I-pad)- don't let the name fool you. It's good for kids up to about 5 yrs old.
Monkey Preschool Lunchbox (for Android & I-pad)
ASL Dictionary (for Android & I-pad)
Fun with Directions, More Fun with Directions (for I-pad)
Super Duper (for Android & I-pad)
Picture the Sentence (for I-pad)
Sound Touch (for Android & I-pad)
Wheels on the Bus (for Android & I-pad)
Word Slapps (for I-pad)
Speech Therapy Apraxia (for Android & I-pad)
First Phrases (for I-pad)
My PlayHome (for Android & I-pad)

Occupational Therapy
ABC tracer (for Android & I-pad)
Toca Boca Apps (there's one for Android, but more for I-pad)
Coloring Apps (for Android & I-pad)
iSay (Simon)
Fruit Ninja (for Android & I-pad)
Highlights Hidden pictures (for I-pad)
Shape Builder (for Android & I-pad)
Where's Waldo (for Android & I-pad)
iWriteWords- featured in multiple fav app choices
iMazing
Impossible Maze (for I-pad) 
Counting Bills & Coins (for I-pad) 



My fav apps:
Hangman Free
First Grade Learning Games
Mathemagica
Coloring Book for kids


Apps I want to try:
Vocabulicious
Super Why!
Sid's Science Fair
Starfall: Learn to Read (my kids LOVE the website)
Smart Kids: 2nd Grade, Smart Kids: 3rd Grade, Smart Kids: 4th Grade
Learn to Count Money
American States & Capitals
American History Books

Special Needs Parenting

This is kind of a 3-in-1 post..


Rules for Parents of Kids with Special Needs:

1. Take one day at a time. Is one day too long? Take one hour at a time. Don't worry about tomorrow.

2. Never underestimate your child's potential. Encourage them. You are your child's best advocate and cheerleader.

3. Build a support network of positive mentors who can share with you experience, advice and support. Among these are other parents of special needs parents, therapists, doctors. They really are indispensable.

4. Be involved in appropriate educational and learning environments as soon as possible! I know neither of my girls were diagnosed until they were 4.5 years old, but they got services before that. Early services help kids get ahead [or at least not fall so far behind]. I still can't always go in their classes [because I have a little guy at home that still needs my love and attention], but I'm still involved. My girls' teachers have great communication with me. They email me when they have a concern and vice versa. We send each other updates of what we're doing. We compliment each other between what's done at school and done at home, and I think it really helps.

5. Be mindful of the feelings of your spouse and other kids.

6. Answer only to your conscience. You do not need to justify your actions to friends or the public. This is something I wish I learned AGES ago. [Yes, my child is having a giant melt down because of xyz, but I understand that. They are doing typically doing pretty awesome, so lady with the judgmental stare, you can bite me.]

7. Be honest with your feelings. You can't be a super-parent all the time!

8. Be nice to yourself. Don’t focus continually on what still needs to be done. Remember to look at what you’ve already accomplished! There's only so many hours in the day and only so much energy. [I like to try to fight the biggest fire first- which means I go after the area(s) that need the improvement first, but others may find other ways to deal w/ multiple areas that need to be helped.]

9. Appreciate the little things. [Yes it IS a big freaking deal your baby FINALLY rolled over].

10. Keep your sense of humor. I look at it this way. I can either cry about it or laugh about it. It's a LOT more fun to laugh at it.

Things Parents of Typical Developing Kids Should know about [at this this] Special Needs Parent:

1. I'm tired. Parenting kids with special needs is exhausting. I'm never done. Therapy, school work, home work for therapy [which includes speech, occupational therapy, and physical therapy], ABA. We won't even talk about that I still have to just parent them and their siblings.

2. I feel lonely [at times]. I feel like I'm on the outside looking in. What would it be like to have all typically developing kids? Even in the autism community, every kid is different, so what works for one may not work for another. It's frustrating.

3. I'm jealous. See above. I wish I didn't have to go through this. I wish my kids didn't have to go through this. I know there's kids who have it worse and parents whose plates are even fuller, but I'm still jealous of those parents with all typical kids.

4. I'm scared. I constantly ask myself, "what if I'm not doing enough" or "what if I'm not good enough"? I'm terribly scared of failing my children. I worry about their futures and helping them fulfill their full potentials.

5. I'm human. I fall short often in the parenting realm. But the one thing parenting kids with special needs has taught me is to have empathy for those in similar circumstances. I want to help them the best I can. I want to reach out and touch them. I want to reassure every emotion I've felt this far dealing with the reality of having a kid with special needs.

This leads up to my last list...

How to Help a Parent of a Child with Special Needs

1. Talk about your child's personality not their accomplishments. I can't count the number of times that I've cried on the inside while hearing people say what their kids can do that mine can't. It breaks my heart. I feel like a miserable failure. So tell me about their personality: how they are loving, mischievous, a joker, etc.

2. Insist on helping. I may LOOK strong, but really I'm not. And I'm terrible about asking for help because I don't want to make assumptions about others ability to help or to insert myself where I shouldn't. You can always offer to cook meals, clean the house, or watch the kids. Those are ways to insert your help. Trust me, it's needed. On a side note, parenting special needs kids is more stressful than parenting typical kids, so offer a date night to your friends. It just may help out their marriage!

3. Give me some grace. I have bad days, weeks, moments...

4. Stop complaining about your kids. I know they can be ill-behaved or be mean, but believe or not some parents would give their eye-teeth for experiences like that because it would mean they could DO something. SAY something.

5. Ask how I'm doing. People may ask about my kids, but it would also be nice if occasionally they asked how I'm doing in this role as a special needs parent. I don't often feel I can talk about how hard it can be, or how I'm tired, or how I had a good day or bad day. A sincere "How are you doing handling everything?" once in a while, and readiness to hear an honest answer is all I need to feel like someone cares. Alternatively, sometimes it's just good to talk about other stuff... so please go with it if I do.

6. Pamper me. It's hard for a special needs parent to rationalize doing for themselves. At least it's hard for me to.

7. See my children how I see them. Observe them in love.

8. Support my cause. To love and hep kids with special needs. Be an advocate when you see someone being unkind. Teach your children to lovingly accept kids who are a little different. This really does my heart good.

Leila's Therapy notes

Not really for anyone else but me to refer back to so I can have in one place what I'm doing/ supposed to be doing:

Speech:
* Positional words
        put the item on the _____
        put the item in the _____
        put the item under the _____
     later in the week flip it from telling her what to do to asking her where it is
        Is the item under or in the __________? (for example)

Occupational Therapy:
* Practice pulling pennies out of putty for hand strength
      - hide pennies under pinky & ring until collect 5
      - move from palm to pinch grasp (same hand)
      - pinch to put in piggy bank
* For strength: yoga, wheelbarrow walk, carrying [5-10% body weight- pumpkin, backpack,
      groceries, books, jug, etc]
     - for yoga do Superman & Roly-Poly
* Fold towels, socks

Physical Therapy:
* Do Superman & Roly-Poly yoga poses. 10 seconds each, x3 each day
* Practice standing without holding onto anything (alternating legs)
* Go up and down steps while switching feet [one per step]

Sneak teaching

Or sneakily helping your kids in area they need help in. Because we're all about learning when my kids don't even realize that they're learning.

Reading & Writing:
* Write food recipes and cook/ bake them
* Read recipes from cookbooks and make them
* Write the family dinner menu (daily/ weekly)
* Write family grocery list
* Help find/ read foods off grocery list at the store
* Write a "treasure hunt" of the the house, yard, etc and you [the parent] follow it to the "treasure
   (or do scavenger hunt) 
* Become pen pals with family members/ friends who live elsewhere.
* Get magazine subscriptions for them to read
* Play reading/ writing computer, video games
* Write their birthday or holiday wish list
* Play games with sight word, word phrase flash cards (concentration games, travel,
   create-a-sentence, etc)
* Write and read Hangman/ Wheel of Fortune games
* Read street signs, restaurant signs, store signs,etc while driving/ riding in a car
* Have entire family have a 15-20 minutes "quiet reading time" everyday. All members read
   something of their choice.
* Play board games where they have to read the instructions to know what to do  or make words
   (Fluxx, Monopoly, Upwords/ Scrabble/ Boggle, etc)
  
Math: 
* Count money out when shopping/ purchasing item(s)
* Create time schedule for after school, the weekly schedule, school schedule, sports/ activities
* Measure while cooking
* Measure household items around your home
* Flash Cards (addition, subtraction, time, money, fractions, shapes, multiplication, division, etc)
* Food Math- counting, adding, subtracting, etc with various food items (candy, cereal, fruit, etc)
* Make monthly calenders
* Map trips- follow along as you take your family trip. Discuss directions (N,S,E,W),
   miles per hour, etc)
* Interact in math computer games
* Graph the weather
* Measure the temperature daily with thermometer
* Create a savings account
* Weigh different objects around the house
* Look for patterns in every day living.
* Make math an important tool around your house. Promote it as fun detective work.

Yoga!

I'm just trying to show everyone I really am a hippy.

This is our latest addition to our OT/PT thing that we do at home. I wish we could do it more, but life is crazy/ busy.

So some examples because I'm a visual person:

My goal is to do this whole series with them. I don't think that's too crazy. We'll be starting with 5 poses 10 seconds each. We may switch out a high warrior for the lunges if they are too hard for them.

Other ideas I have:
Sunrise, Sunset
Tree pose
Downward facing dog, up dog
Bow Pose

Camel Pose

Boat Pose 

Frog Pose
Starfish
Bridge
Dancer
Cobra

I'm sure there's others I could incorporate easily too, but that's what came to mind. We've starting doing some of it (my kids just started trying to do yoga with me one day). I'm excited to do more!

Give me Five!

Some ideas from my OT for hand strengthening activities (and some that I've found along the way too):

There's the typical preschool/ early elementary activities:
        scissor cutting
        playing with clay/ playdough/ silly putty (which I think the best kind is the regular homemade 
                  kind or the peanut butter kind). You can even hide objects in playdough for them to find.
                  (my kids love to do this.)
        tearing paper
        coloring (especially on a easel).
        roll tissue paper into balls for collages
       wash things off with a sponge (hmmm... I think my car needs to be washed...)
       clothes pins (be careful to show them how to do it)
       chop sticks
       hole punch
       bubble wrap (this is also a great gross motor activity when trying to teach kids to jump...
                SO much fun!)

The Sous chef activities:
        pealing carrots (easy) or round veggies/ fruits (more difficult)
        grating carrots (easy) or cheese (more difficult)
        using a veggie chopper (my kid LOVE to help me with mine!)
        stirring
        pushing on/ off buttons (my kids love to take turns pressing the button when we make smoothies
                  or shakes in my blender)
        untwisting/ tightening jar tops
        spreading butter with butter knife
        sifting flour

Plant sprayer to water plants or teach them to spray and wipe windows (my eldest loves this chore).

Toys:

Legos/ duplo/ megablocks/ tinker toys/ k'nex
pop beads
make necklaces/ bracelets lacing beads
sand/ dirt/ mud
shoveling
play card games (practice holding them in a fan)
crafts that use glitter, puffy paint, glue bottle, fabric paint, etc
dress up dolls
paper dolls

The Responsibility Experiment

Yesterday I worked on a project...

Of making this:

Into this:

















Why? Because I got tired of my kids not doing what they should do everyday [especially without me reminding them]. Now they can just look at the board and see what they need to do that day. Whatever kid does the chore slides it over to done (or in D's case we just move the D from the bottom to the top), and they get credit. Small sticker for 1 chore; medium sticker for 2 chores; and big sticker for 3 chores. They can do some of them more than once a day, and they can do the ones on the bottom (not shown) for extra credit. They can do as many chores as they want and get as many stickers as they want. (We have them put the stickers on a sheet and when it's full they get a $1 toy). So it's super cost effective.

They do have the bare minimums that they have to do before they get game time. They have to do homework; read; and done at least one other chore. And I kept out some of the behavior ones because let's face it, they have behaviors I want to eliminate. Right now it's on "stop whining" 3/4 of my kids whined VERY little yesterday so they got it.

So day one (yesterday) was a success: Anya did 7/8 chore; Bridgette did 5/8 (not bad considering she's sick); Leilani did 5/8 (better than it's been in the past); and even my little Dete (who's 2) did a couple chores [okay one of those was not whining, but I'll take it!] I hope it keeps going!

Progress

(click for larger view)

I feel it's my public service to inform the military public (especially retirees and soon to be retirees) that we have a little victory.

Let me explain. In the past, if you had a child with any variant of autism and you were a military retiree you were out of luck if you wanted ABA therapy (Applied Behavioral Analysis which is one of the most effective forms of therapy for kids with autism). Which meant they were just out of luck. ABA is ridiculously expensive. Mostly because it takes lots of work (and schooling and hours) to become a behavior analyst, so there aren't a lot of them. It's a hard therapy to render, but it basically takes behavior therapy (if you're in to psych at all think of B.F. Skinner or Pavlov).

But because of a lawsuit it is available. It's still in litigation right now, so it's not for sure it will stay, but it's looking pretty good because Tricare's not looking to file a counter suit (which is what they would have to do). Also with ECHO going out the door soon, this will also make ABA easier to get (without jumping through their bureaucratic hoops).

I think this is a step in the right direction. Hopefully this map below will have more coverage in states:

If you want more information, please contact me (you can comment below) and I'll see what resources I can find. Some states have grants or scholarships for kids who need ABA too. Or at least I can try to help point you in the right direction.

Funny parenting meanderings

No matter how calmly you try to referee, parenting will eventually produce bizarre behavior, and I'm not talking about the kids.~ Bill Cosby

My rules for parenting [that keep me laughing]:

* I can sleep when I'm dead. Forget that sleep when the kids are sleeping. Because that's when I get
   STUFF done!
* Hiding in the closet because you don't want to share your food- totally acceptable. In fact,
   sometimes that is the only way I can eat the food that I made for myself at times.
* It doesn't matter if I made the kids the EXACTLY the same thing I am eating, they will
   want a bite of mine. (The food on my plate magically tastes better).
* Slobber and snot are bold fashion statements.

*If you want to distract you child for hours, just let them play in empty boxes. It's superior
  to any toy you may own.
* An acceptable social distance between your child and any other human being is 2 inches.
   Just so you know.
*  Cleaning your house while your kids are still growing up is like shoveling the
    walk before it stops snowing.
* Sing out loud in the public even, especially if it embarrasses your children.

Road Trip!

Seeing that we're moving soon, I thought this was a timely post for us. Maybe others will find our sanity saving tactics useful. (Don't judge me for the tactics I use, just keep in mind I'm trying to keep 4 kids entertained. 2 of which who don't wait well. AT. ALL.)

#1 Portable DVD player, my kids actually don't watch this the entire trip. Last time my kids
     only watched a few things (keep in mind 2 day drive, only watching a couple things-
     pretty awesome in my book).

#2 Nintendo DS. Yes, they play traditional games on there, but they also play A LOT of educational
     games. My list of educational games: Scribblenauts, Super Scribblenauts, Reading Tutor (there's
     multiple grade levels for this one), Hello Kitty, Crayola Treasure Adventure...

#3 Books

#4 Coloring books, Twistables Crayolas, pencils, journal, and workbooks.

#5 Snacks & drinks

#6 Audiobooks and the music THEY like. This has saved me so many times.

#7 Etch-a-sketch or magna-doodle

#8 Cars, dinosaurs, animals, a couple Barbies, or other small toys.

#9 Stickers

#10 Magnetic toys (some of my kids fav's):

Playsets like these. We've gotten the more character themed ones and they 

went over well (these ones by Lee Publications tend to be the best value though)

Melissa & Doug Dress up dolls. There's several kinds of these

so far we've found they're all great.

Tangoes. Classic puzzle solving at it's best.

Letter matching! Also there's one with words too. Great learning toys!

#11 Sewing cards (or small crafts for bigger kids)

#12 Car games like car bingo, I spy, alphabet game

#13 Color Wonder! 

More Gross Motor

Yes MORE Gross Motor. Why? Because [at least for my kids] I've found when I trade off between a gross motor skill and and fine motor [or one that requires more attention], they do a lot better with those finer tasks. Sometimes we even do gross motor and fine motor together. So a list of some of the tasks we do:

* kicking a ball- either just for the fun of it or playing soccer or kickball
* balloon volleyball. My kids LOVE to play this!
* jump and/or stomp on bubble wrap
* rolling around (especially down a hill, and then they have to run up the hill to do it again)
* play Hullabaloo, Tag, hopscotch, musical chairs, or Twister
* Obstacle Course

* play at the park

* dancing party

* balance sitting on a ball while writing (I do this to my kids ALL the time)

* bike riding

* My kids' additions:
     virus tag: where one person is "it" and as they tag people they are also "it" until everyone

               is tagged. Last person tagged is the first person it.

     shark attack: one person is "it" and tries to hit others with a giant exercise ball (one of our fav's)

              once tagged you sit out til all are tagged.

     fishing frenzy: relay race where you try to get a gummy worm off a clothes pin fishing pole.

     freeze tag

* basically any sport. My kids like football, baseball, kickball, soccer best of all

Now get moving!

Top Toys

These are all toys that are good for a therapeutic purposes and my kids Love!

Little Tykes Magic Kitchen

Other play kitchens are great too, but this one says what the kids are cooking. Has about a 100 different phrases that is says & comes with food, silverware, plates, etc. Great for imaginative and social play.

Fisher Price Geo-Trax

Can make all kinds of tracks. Take apart & put together again. Play w/ either the remote and train or make them play by pulling it along on the track for fine motor and gross motor work all at the same time. My kids love to play with this thing!

Lite-Brite Cube

A spin on a classic. Great for imagination and fine motor play. I love this one because you can either keep more than one picture up at a time or let more than one kid play on it at once (which we do A LOT).

Fine motor games like Bed Bugs; Operation; Perfection; Connect 4; Kerplunk; etc

Mr Potato Head

Great for fine motor skills and body awareness (where do his/ her arms belong? Where is his nose? etc)

 

Giant Fitness Ball

I use this with my kids ALL the time. The can kick it, push it, balance on it (with help), bounce on it. So many uses. Or if you like you can get them a Giant Hopper instead. Both fun and useful!

Magnetic Responsibility Chart & Calendar 
(Let it be known I <3 Melissa & Doug)

Lacing Cards; Puzzles; Stacking/ Nesting toys

Stamps

Sit & Spin or a swing

Tag

This one is great for language development/ reading skills. All of my kids LOVE it. (There's also the Tag Jr for younger kids which I haven't tested/ used, but I would wager it's probably a pretty good toy as this one is so great)

Legos/ Blocks

Pretend playsets/ dress up kits

That's my list/ collection so far. What would you add?

Heavy Jobs

I know I've been totally guilty of sometimes thinking for my special needs kids "oh they can't do that!" I was given this list of heavy job tasks by an OT, but I think these tasks help OT, PT, and focusing tasks, depending on the kid. Two of my girls use these tasks as means to get refocused/ for my OT/ PT goals to work with them (don't be intimidated by these, even if you have to do these tasks hand over hand they are worth the effort, they get therapy and learn work ethic through these tasks). Do make sure they are age appropriate though ;-) Here's the list:

Jobs & Chores [inside]...
  * Bring groceries in from the car. Put them away, including low cupboards where he needs
     to be on hands and knees.
  * Take cushions off the sofas, vacuum under them, then put them back
  * Mop or sweep the kitchen floor
  * Scrub rough surfaces with a brush
  * Wash off kitchen/ dining room table and/ or counters with rag
  * Help dust furniture (this one is one of my kids fav's b/c they get to use the swifer).
  * Clean the windows or from of appliances (spray bottles are great for hand muscles!)
  * Carry laundry basket to room and put away clean clothes
  * Change sheets on the bed, and put them in dirty laundry basket
  * Rearrange bedroom furniture

Jobs & Chores [outside]...
  * Sweep porch or driveway
  * Do yard work (rake leaves, pull weeds, mow the lawn)
  * Shovel sand/ dirt into wheelbarrow, wheel the wheelbarrow to a spot, dump out sand/ dirt and
     use rake to level out (good for filling low spots in yard)
  * Carry buckets to water flowers, plants, trees.
  * Recycle (carry box of bans or newspapers to curb)
  * Pull heavy trashcan
  * Stack patio chairs
  * Wash the car (another of my kids' favs)
  * Bathe the dog
  * Perform wood projects requiring sanding & hammering

Play time [inside]...
  * Push or pull a box with toys or a few books in it
  * Play cars under the kitchen table or make shift tent where your child is on hands and knees
     pushing car with one hand while weight bearing on the other hand.
  * Play "row, row, row your boat" both sitting on the floor, pushing and pulling each other    
  * Play "magic carpet" (pull someone on a sheet, blanket, small rug or in a box)
  * Bounce on a mini trampoline or on bouncy hop ball
  * Climb on pillows, hide under them, jump and crash into them.
  * Have a pillow fight
  * Fall into a bean bag chair
  * Do army crawl, crab walk, bear walk.

Play time [outside]...
  * Fill up big toy trucks with heavy blocks, push with both hands to knock things down
  * Play in sandbox/ at the beach with damp, heavy sand
  * Color a with sidewalk chalk on hands and knees
  * Play hopscotch
  * Play catch with a heavy ball
  * Play tug of war with a jump rope
  * Roll or sled down hill
  * Swing from monkey bars and play/ climb on playground equipment
  * Participate in gymnastics, horseback riding, karate, dance, wall climbing.
  * Ride a bike/ scooter
  * Play tag, baseball, basketball, volleyball

Transitions:
  * Push/ pull heavy doors with both hands
  * When traveling, let child pull own suitcase on wheels

Meal time:
  * Mix and kneed cookie dough
  * Help book w/ an onion chopper (my kids love this)
  * Push or pull tables in/ out from table
  * Sip applesauce or thick milkshake through a straw.

Homework time:
  * Chew gum, eat chewy foods, or crunchy food, or sip water from water bottle with thin straw
  * Push again the wall
  * Weighted lap belt/ weighted pencil

Bath time:
  * After bath, rub child briskly with large towel, firmly squeezing muscles. He can help fold
     towel when done. Rub with lotion too if he likes.

Bed time:
  * Help fold heavy quilt
  * Wear tight flannel or soft snug pajamas
  * Go "camping" with heavy blanket pulled across a few chairs. Your child can help set up and take
     down the blanket
  * Change the sheets on the bed

Different Lunch Solutions

A list of some our different solutions to get us out of a lunch rut!

Carbs/ Tummy Fillers
Whole grain crackers
pretzels/ baked chips
mini-muffins
goldfish/ snack crackers
bagel chips
rice cakes
cooked ball of rice
Leftover pasta salad (with veggies)
granola bars
banana/ zucchini/ pumpkin bread
cereal bars
dry cereal
bagels/ mini-bagels
buns/ rolls
garlic toast
pita bread
waffles/ pancakes
wrap/ sandwich

Fruit
apple slices
berries
cherries
grapes
bananas
melon
dried fruit
canned peaches/ pears
applesauce (and other blended fruit sauce found in the store by the applesauce)
pineapple chunks
orange wedges
tomatoes
fruit salad

Veggies
carrots
snap peas
pepper strips
cucumber slices
steamed green beans
broccoli/ cauliflower
celery
salad/ spinach

Protein
leftover meat cut into chunks
turkey/ chicken sausage
deli meat/ hot dogs (turkey dogs)
beans
peanut butter
taquitos/ quesadillas
baked tofu
mini-pizzas (with pepperoni)

Dairy
yogurt
cheese
cottage cheese
pudding

Sandwich "breads"
tortillas
naan
pita pockets
flat bread
biscuits/ crescent rolls
bagels/ mini-bagels
garlic toast

Switch up the Sandwich (just a few examples):
- Turkey & Swiss:
     * swap out cheese: muester, havaarti, cream cheese
     * add: mashed avocado; cranberry sauce; mango chutney
- PB&J:
     * swap out PJ: almond butter; sunflower butter; cream cheese
     * swap jelly: raisins, bananas, apples, pears
- Chicken salad:
     * add apple, grapes, celery, almonds, mango chutney, apricot jam
- Homemade lunchables
- DIY pizzas: cook mini crusts (or use mini bagels).
     Supply spaghetti sauce, cheese, toppings on the side.

For ideas visit my school lunch page on Pinterest.

What not to say

I read this post here about things not to say to an autism parent. Here's MY list (in no particular order):

1. Autism is [or isn't] caused by _______. (The truth is NO one knows really what causes or triggers autism. There's so many varying kinds of autism- no two kids are exactly the same on the spectrum and/ or when the symptoms started).

2. I understand. (The truth is, unless you have a kid with special needs [or work REGULARLY with them], you probably don't get it. And even then differing special needs have differing needs, autism has its own needs again with each kid being a little different).

3. She just needs to apply herself more or she can't do that. Let my child say what she can and cannot do. She'll let you know.

4. Like Rainman? [My internal response: No, not like freaking Rainman.]

5. God knew you could handle this.

6. You really need to control your child.

7. Are you sure she has autism?

8. You should try ________ (therapy, medication, etc).

9. It doesn't matter if she's learning as long as she's happy (this is one from her teacher who I wanted to punch right in the taco).

10. If you had faith in god, autism would go away.

11. It's just a phase. [Internal response: this is one freaking long phase].

12. Aren't you worried that one of your other kids could someday exhibit autism?

13. She just needs to be medicated.

14. How dare you medicate her!

15. You just don't know how to discipline your child.

16. Could you take your child out? She's disturbing everyone.

17. If you thought she could have a meltdown, why did you bring her?

18. She should be in a special class.

19. She's too smart to be autistic.

20. Why isn't she doing ______ yet?

21. Oh she has autism. That must be so hard on you. [No shit, Sherlock.].

22. She just needs a good spanking.

23. Girls don't have autism.

24. Why do you have so many kids when your eldest has autism?














At the end of the day though. I will say in this post that I am strangely grateful for my daughter Bridgette, who just happens to have autism. She is bright, funny, compassionate. I've learned more about loving people unconditionally from her than I could have learned in a lifetime. She is one amazing girl. She's made so much progress in such little time. I sincerely hope that she knows that she can be whatever she wants to be when she grows up, just like any other child. Autism doesn't limit her, but rather other people's perceptions of autism. Never make any assumptions on any child- they all grow and develop differently. Autism even more so. Because autism is the ability to think differently. Without filters. Without judgement. Without any negative conceptions. The differences are sometimes frightening to those who don't understand it, but if looked upon as simply being can be a beautiful thing.

Social Strategies

This is one of those things I for sure wanted to work on with my Bridgette. And we've made slow but good progress.

Before many of her interactions were very one-sided and she had pretty much no ability to answer the simplest question. I think it was a matter of her not understanding that was her chance to say the answer (the pattern of interchange between two people) at times rather than her not knowing the answer (which sometimes I know is the case too). It still is something she needs to work on but it's more that she has to learn to interact better with her peers.

So I'm reviewing some strategies that I found in this book.

* Group social therapy: This works really well. Unfortunately, my insurance (I don't know about others') won't pay for pure group social therapy. So we've found windows by doing group PT/ OT and sometimes I sneak in 2 of my girls getting speech at the same time. It helps to break down the rules of socializing that kids usually learn automatically. Anything abstract (like feelings, thoughts, friendships) should be introduced by visual cues and hands on stuff. For feelings products lessons I highly recommend this:























Source
and Dr Seuss' Many Colored Days.
Friends- I recommend "Since we're friends"

Be sure that any group therapy that the social skills are reinforced at home. I know that practice really helps my Bridgette.

I think the skills that Bridgette has the hardest time with is keeping eye contact and keeping an appropriate distance/ volume.

* Modeling. I know a lot of the social skills she's learned through watching my husband and I. And her sisters. We are generous with praise when she's getting it (even just a bit) because that's what she thrives on.

* Opportunities to play with friends. We make great use of time at the park or in the play room with our friends.

* Social skills games. Use a game board and use cards for questions/ cues you'd like kids to work on. All of my kids love this game. (Like we'll ask her about her favorite subjects; or her favorite shows; who do you know that _______; you are told not to do ____, what should you do?; or _____ needs help because they are sad, what can you do to help?; what should you do if someone teases you). The list of questions/ cues can go on and on.

* Make social stories (we do this a lot when we're going to have big changes and it helps a lot).

* Narrating life. It's fun to hear her say what she's doing and why.

* Learning coping strategies. For my Bridgette the best coping strategies are that she can do deep breathing (like yoga) or she can ask for pressure. We started with her just using her words to say how she feels and why. She's gotten really far with this.

* We're still trying to teach her how to deal with bullying. It hasn't been a big problem so far with her. I think it's because she's confident in herself and knows she's different and embraces it. She knows that she has a better long term memory than other kids. She knows that she just loves people no matter what, and she doesn't get her feelings hurt very easily.

These are just a few of the suggestions. I'm sure there's more out there, but that's what we've tried and what's worked.

Do you understand?

Some tips for developing better comprehension through conversation (nothing groundbreaking- just good reminders).

Tip #1: Build in time for rich conversation in your home
* Turn off the cell phones, tv, and close your laptops when you have time for a "real conversation"
* Set the tone by reminding your child to bring something "to the table" to share.
*Keep meal time talk relaxing & pleasant.
* Remember to chose worlds that enrich your child's vocabulary: The potatoes are "delectable" instead of "good". During a TV show: Why was the policeman "reluctant" to go into the house?
* Make connections from your own experience: "That happened to me in the 4th grade..."
* Extend one-word or phrase answers by modeling the use of complete sentences and correct grammar. Language is refined & improved by example!
* Ask "why" and "how" questions requiring more than "yes" or "no" responses.
* Use starters like these to extend your child's language: Tell me more...; Why do you think that is?; how did that happen?

Tip #2 Encourage sophisticated vocabulary use at home.

* Choose a "word of the week" from vocabulary lists, independent reading, or tv shows. Choose words that are unfamiliar and/ or unused in your child's conversation and post on the refrigerator. Use the word in conversation as much as possible.
* Write vocabulary words on strips of scrap paper or index cards. Ask your child to sort words, after you read each. He might sort by meaning, by part of speech, by relationships (igloo, tent, huts are all shelters... endangered, vulnerable, jeopardized could describe the rainforest.) Just make sure there's an "oddball" category for words that don't fit into categories. The object of the activity is to discuss and debate ways of sorting words and explore meanings, not to find the "right or wrong" answer.
* Incorporate varied sentence structure and more specific and varied verbs & adjectives into your conversation. Instead of "the wind is blowing hard", say "the trees are swaying in the wind"
* Play "what is, what it's not" with chosen vocabulary words. Plan examples of situations that do or don't describe the word's use to help you child think and make choices.

Tip #3: Make comprehension, writing, & fluency practice relevant & fun!
* Have your child select tv shows for the day and write a persuasive essay to why she should be allowed to watch that show.
* Start a "book club" that only has the members in your family; or just you and your child. Read the same book (together and independently). Highlight interesting words, discuss characters, predict and confirm actions and events. Enjoy the shared reading experience!
* Choose your child's favorite song and ask her to rewrite the lyrics to perform for the family. Rhythm and rhyme support fluency! (This would be a great fun activity for the whole family to do for a family talent show night or something similar).
* Encourage emails, postcards, or letters written to friends and family members.
* Record your child reading a passage and replay so that he can listen. Repeat the activity and challenge him to improve phrasing and expression.
* When YOU read aloud to your child, remember that tone and expression help convey meaning. Model conversational speed, phrasing, and intonation.
* Clip out a current news story or articles from a magazine and cut the paragraphs apart. Ask child to read the paragraphs and put them in order.
* Find an editorial and ask your child to highlight or underline facts in one color and opinions in another.

Sensory 101: Part 2

Click here for part 1.

This is more a list of situations and solutions of how to deal with solutions depending on if the child is hypersensitive or hypo-sensitive. These situations may also apply to power struggles with terrible 2's/ 3's.











SITUATION:
Waking up/ Rise & Shine
Over-Reactive child: Wakes up already overloaded. Family feels like they are walking on egg shells. Easily startles & wakes irritable, especially when startled by loud noises. May have difficulty transitioning out of bed to avoid "starting the day." Helpful equipment: gradual alarm clock rug placed on floor by bed; sun blocking blinds; time timer; visual schedule; calming background music. Helpful Strategies: Joint compressions; wall pushes; firm hug; brushing program; allow time to complete morning routine; use visual timer; quiet voice limit.
Under-Reactive child (which is part of hypo-sensitive): This child refuses to get out of bed or is extremely challenging to wake up & motivate in the morning. They are hard to wake up, often hit the snooze button several times, and can sleep through alarm. Helpful equipment: traditional alarm clock with bell or buzzer [not music]; dizzy disc/ sit & spin; therapy ball; trampoline. Helpful strategies: Alerting activities like jumping on trampoline; shower int he morning to "wake up"; leave blinds open so room is brightly lit; regulate sleep cycle; use loud upbeat music to wake up during morning routine; implement morning exercise routine.
Sensory Seeker (which is also part of hypo-sensitive): This is the family alarm clock. Helpful equipment: weighted hat; visual schedule/ chore/ activities child is allowed to do in morning. Helpful strategies: heavy work activities; chore list; joint compressions/ brushing program.

SITUATION:
Getting dressed
Over-reactive child: Refuses to get dressed and can have adverse response to getting dressed. Can go through many outfits in the morning. No clothes "feel right." Tantrums over getting dressed. Helpful Equipment: calming music CD; environmental adaptations. Helpful Strategies: let child pick out clothes; put on clear undies and socks night before so body is already used to these; may need to accept changing outfits; use bear hug vest/ lycra clothing; take them shopping with you; pick your battles.
Under-reactive child: Decreased initiation to get dressed & will often lose focus. Clothes & appearance are disheveled. Helpful Equipment: upbeat music; therapy ball/ trampoline/ sit-n-spin. Helpful strategies: Shower with towel rub to alert & get ready for dressing; dressing schedule with timer; lay out clothes night before; use massager prior to getting dressed or rub lotion on skin.
Sensory Seeker: These kids are in constant motion, making dressing a challenge as they don't stay still. May have difficulty fastening clothes because don't have precise control to manage fasteners. Disheveled appearance. Helpful Equipment: time timer; visual supports. Helpful strategies: child needs to engage in movement activity prior to getting dressed; clothes picked out night before & let them help pick out outfit.

SITUATION:
Grooming
Over-reactive child: Adverse reactions; refuses to participate; fight/ flight response; anxiety. Helpful equipment: Soft terry face towel; natural flavored toothpaste. Helpful strategies: Use firm pressure with warm water; use toothbrush with soft bristles, no flavored toothpaste, warm water to brush teeth; wet brush with warm water and comb through hair apply pressure to head & body
Under-reactive child: Unaware of messy appearance; doesn't do thorough job of completing grooming activities. Helpful equipment: cinnamon or mint flavored toothpaste; battery operated toothbrush. Helpful Strategies: Wash face using cold water to alert/ wake up; battery powered toothbrush with mint/ cinnamon toothpaste.
Sensory seeker: Makes a mess- toothpaste/ water everywhere; distracted by moving water. Helpful equipment: time timer; grooming schedule; therapist ball. Helpful strategies: set timer and have child brush til timer sounds; use schedule to stay on task.

SITUATION:
Breakfast
Over-reactive child: refuses to eat; has meltdown over eating. Helpful equipment: weighted lap pad; chair hug; proper positioning in chair. Helpful strategies: avoid smells or place calming scent in environment; may need to eat later; eat in alternative environment away from smells of morning.
Under-reactive: may take long time to complete meal. may exhibit disinterest in breakfast, prefer same foods every day, or have trouble finishing meal. may overstuff self or not eat due to difficulty discriminating feelings of fullness or hunger. Helpful equipment: spices; therapy ball; chair hug. Helpful strategies: spice up food and use strong flavors; drink through straw.
Sensory seeker: Easily distracted by themselves, environment, and their need to move. Have difficulty staying seated during meal. Their busy is so busy that they may not even stop & realize they're hungry. Rush through a meal. Helpful Equipment: intense flavors; spices; provide crunchy & chewy food for breakfast. Helpful strategies: Sit on therapy ball; weighted utensils; weighted lap pad; bungee cord on chair; tennis balls on bottom of 2 legs of chair allow for movement during eating; quiet environment to eat to avoid distraction stimuli such as TV.

SITUATION
Car or bus ride
Over-reactive child: May get car sick; can become irritable, overloaded, hyperactive. Helpful equipment: weighted animal/ lap pad; weighted hat; fidgets; sun glasses; ear phones; doodle pro/ coloring book. Helpful strategies: sit at front of bus; car pool so there are less kids; listen to music through head phones.
Under-reactive: difficult to transition into vehicle. Helpful strategy: sit at back of bus.
Sensory seeker: gets out of seat belt & moves around; bouncing up & down; makes loud noises; touchy hands; feet up on seat or kick back of seat. Helpful equipment: weighted animal/ lap pad; weighted hat. Helpful strategies: use lap belt; keep child occupied in vehicle.

SITUATION
Bath
* Contrary to popular opinion, it's not necessary to bathe kids everyday unless there are medical or sanitary reasons to do so. Rather than bathe, use a washcloth or wet wipes (which can be kept warm in a warmer) to zap any dirty areas daily, and schedule unavoidable bath time for one or more days each week consistently.
* Use large sponge or loofah sponge and rub firmly to decrease defensiveness.
* Before bath, do resistive exercises or activities that provide deep proprioceptive input.
* Have bath water drawn before having child undress. Make transition from undressing to getting into tub as quick & smooth as possible. Keep bath temp warm & have them dress while still in bathroom.
* If child dislikes having his/her face or body washed, encourage them to do it themselves. Self-imposed touch produces less defensive reaction.
* Use fragrance-free soap, as well as sensitive skin brands.
* Use tub toys, soap paints, and bubble baths for them to play with & keep occupied.
* For showers, use a hand-held nozzle. Let child control direction & force of water. This can be especially helpful washing for kids who are afraid of a big shower.
* Use a large towel & quickly & firmly wrap child in it. Avoid exposure of wet skin to air.
* Provide deep-touch toweling to extremities, hands and feet to decrease defensiveness. If child will tolerate, provide firm massage, using lotion to avoid skin irritation.
* Some kids who dislike the bath, will go into the shower with no/ less problems.

SITUATION
Bedtime
Establish a consistent routine- I've heard suggested no tv/ computer time for 60 mins prior to bedtime. Suggested calming activities:
* Rocking/ swinging
* Dim lights, use small space. Use only for quiet time like reading or regaining composure when upset. Not for punishment or it will lose its effectiveness.
* Relaxing scents such as lavender or vanilla.
* Oral input- try fruit or jello. Or drinking something through a straw.
* Wrap snugly in blanket or towel. Ask child if they want you to press more or less firmly.
* When reading to your child, give him bear hugs.
* Warm pajamas in dryer before going to bed. This may provide neutral warmth to help body calm for sleep.
* Tell your child you'll stay with him for 10 mins and once time is up, leave room. Set a timer if it's helpful.
* Turn on calming music for child.

SITUATION
Dining out
* Choose 1 or 2 familiar restaurants to master before attempting new places
* Call ahead & order food to avoid a wait if you like
* Make sure child has something of his/ her own.
* Ask for drinks right away. Ask waiter to bring out kids' food first if it's ready before adults'.
* Ask server to bring extra napkins
* Bring objects to keep waiting kid occupied. (koosh balls, cars, etc)
* Bring weighted lap pad if helpful

SITUATION
Doctor/ Dentist visit- trip to doctor/ dentist can be stressful & traumatic experience for some kids. Here's some suggestions to decrease anxiety:
* Let your kids wear sunglasses
* Bring fidget toys to keep hands busy & entertained
* Use deep pressure or massage to calm child before appointment. Allow them to wear weighted lap pad or x-ray apron while sitting in dentist chair.
* Ask if child can bring own toothpaste from home to dentist if they're sensitive to tastes & smells.
* Create social story with child so they know what to expect or read them book about trips to doctor/ dentist.
* If orally defensive, do oral motor stimulation to "wake up" their mouth muscles & decrease sensitivity before visit.
* To diminish amount of time spent in waiting room, call ahead to see if office is on schedule or arrange to be first visit of the day.
* Warn child before any procedure. Choose words carefully to not frighten them. Like we say that shots will sting instead of hurt. We explain shots are medicine to keep them healthy.
* It may help to bring along your kid to one of your other kids' or your own doctor visits so they can see observe the environment/ equipment. We used the same tactic for blood draws too. I have to get blood draws frequently for anemia tests, so I've taken my kids in with me so they can see it's no big deal.

Sensory 101: Part 1

First entry: Sensory 101 for kids. Good stuff to know.

I want to start with there are different kinds of senses:

We know the more normal ones: hearing, taste, smell, touch, and sight... but do you know?

*The Near Senses: These are hidden senses that we're not aware and are the earliest senses built in utero. This is the foundation for all other development: proprioceptive & vestibular.

*Proprioception [aka body awareness]: The receptors are located in the muscles, tendons, ligaments, and joints. Imagine kids who don't know where they are [or their body parts are] in space. Things that help this area are deep pressure touch or heavy work.

*Vestibular [balance sense]: The receptors are located in the inner ear. It tells us about movement, gravity, and balance. It tells us the speed and direction of movement. These kids are usually sensitive to spinning.

Both the proprioceptive and vestibular sense influence how we move in our environment.

Every move we make begins with the input of sensory input info. Brain processes this info and reacts to it with motor response. If the info received is faulty, then the motor skills will be negatively affected. These motor skills are observed in kids' behavior and tells us about their sensory processing.

Some kids are considered out-of-sync. That is because their ability to modulate sensory input (in the brain), to decide automatically what to pay attention to and what to ignore, is impaired. Kids who are overly sensitive to stimuli need less input then a typical child... and kids who are under sensitive need more input then a typical child.

The Hypersensitive kid: the nervous system over reacts to sensory input
[note that not all of these characteristic may ring true, and sometimes kids have a mix hypo and hyper characteristics]
TOUCH: Avoids certain textures in clothing; rigid rituals in hygiene; picky eaters; avoids haircuts/ washing/ nails being trimmed; avoids messy activities; defensive about others touching body; may react aggressively to touch; likes seasonal clothes; avoids pets/ has exaggerated fear of pets; withdraws from groups/ peers; fussy about footwear; prefers deep hugs to light kisses; over-reactive to minor painful; experiences; very ticklish; walks on tiptoes/ avoids being barefoot.
VESTIBULAR: Insecure about movement/ anxious when feet are off the ground; fear of falling even on slightly elevated surface; avoids new positions that invert the head [like tilting head for hair washing]; holds onto walls; clumsy; dislikes playgrounds/ fear of climbing; becomes overly excited after movement activity; becomes car sick easily.
VISUAL: Avoids bright lights; watch everyone moving around the room; distracted by sights & movement of others; becomes uncomfortable or overwhelmed by moving objects or people; fatigue easily during visual activities.
AUDITORY: Over reacts to unexpected sounds; easily distracted by noise; holds hands over ears; cries about sounds in environment.
TASTE & SMELL: Rigid about foods [narrow menu]; won't try new things; gags easily at new smells/ tastes; bothered by cooking activities; uncooperative at family meals; refuses to eat hot or cold foods.

How to help Hyper-sensitive kids
*Put routine, structure, and predictability in homes. Warn/ talk about changes in schedule ahead of time when possible.
*Don't withhold sensory input. Instead limit unpredictable experiences and provide sensory opportunities in a predictable manner. The goal is to give them sensory opportunities while helping them not get overwhelmed.
*Know if kids do get overwhelmed the natural response is fight or flight. Try to figure out what triggered it.
*GRADUALLY broaden sensory processing experiences within acceptable rituals.

The Hypo-sensitive kid: the nervous system under reacts to sensory input
*TOUCH: Unaware of light touch; decreased reaction to pain; decreased awareness of messiness of hands/ face; messy clothes; touches people and objects constantly; unable to identify parts of body without first touching it; hurts other kids while playing.
*VESTIBULAR: Needs to keep moving in order to function/ difficulty staying in seat; rocks, jumps, shakes head, fidgets; thrill seeker; poor balance/ falls easily/ bumps into objects; decreased dizziness after spinning.
*PROPRIOCEPTIVE: Low muscle tone/ floppy body/ w-sits; weak grasp/ pushes hard w/ utensils to compensate; tends to slump over table; prefers to to rather than sit up during play; constantly leans body against supporting surface; fatigues easily during physical activities; problems w/ digestion & elimination; over stuffs mouth while eating.
*VISUAL: Doesn't notice details/ has problems seeing likeness & differences in pictures; difficulty tracking; decreased orientation of drawings; misjudging orientation of objects in environment; can't find materials on shelf/ in drawer; poor sense of direction; decreased use of concepts like before/after, up/ down, first/ second; academic difficulties- reversals when writing, poor legibility, lose place when reading.
*AUDITORY: Unaware of sources of sounds- looks around to locate; doesn't respond quickly when name is called; difficulty articulating when speaking; makes excessive noise with mouth or hands; reading difficulties related to auditory discrimination; weak vocabulary/ immature sentence structure; difficulty making rhymes/ singing in tune; problems responding to others' questions/ comments.
*TASTE & SMELL: Explore environment by smelling; craves sharp tastes; eats surprising variety of food; licks/ chews non-food objects.

How to help hypo-sensitive:
*Increase opportunities for meeting need by increasing amount and variety of sensory stimulation/ decreasing predictability of routine.
*Sometimes these kids will tell you what sensory information they need.

Why is Proprioceptive important? This kind of input into the joints and muscles results in increased body awareness- which is the foundation for all motor responses. Heavy work is good for all children w/ sensory issues because it helps organize sensory system. It calm hyper-sensitive responses and alert hypo-sensitive responses.

Strategies to help:
*social stories/ sensory stories or books about appropriate behavior.
*visual aids: time timers/ picture schedules
*incorporate heavy work and movement throughout the day (part 2 will be the list)
*positive behavior supports and positive associations w/ challenging situations
*honor kids' sensory needs
*structure, routine, and predictability!

**Parents remember to pay attention to your kids [be a detective]; anticipate responses as you figure out their triggers are; empathize; provide, routines, and predictability; have realistic expectations; and discipline.

Stay tuned for Sensory 101: Part 2!